how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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