It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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