hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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