No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
