It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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