that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Randomize
