apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
