The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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