He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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