I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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