she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
