I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
