i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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