Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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