its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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