we have officially lost it.
from now on my penis is your penis
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
