just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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