VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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