I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
