Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
