sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
