I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
