I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
