she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
