The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
