your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well you can't waste a boner
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
and you fell through a lawn chair
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
