ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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