Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
