I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
