I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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