I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
