shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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