I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
