First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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