Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
