I swear she didn't look like that last week.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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