Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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