I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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