There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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