my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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