I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
