Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
