At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
