i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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