Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
