oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
