the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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