Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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