I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
