Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
