I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
